Today has been rough

Well, yesterday was Cheryl's 2 boys birthday. Chad, my fiance' and Coty, his brother. She used to always make them a cake and celebrate their big day. Yesterday was soooo hard for me, and it wasn't even my birthday. I don't know what to do now, I don't even feel like going to work. I have to be a mommy to my baby girl, and a wife to Chad. But, it's like I have lost something so special and precious to me and it's hard to just return to life as it was before. Today makes 3 weeks since the murder. I just think about Cheryl all day long, every minute of the day. I miss her, cuz she was my best friend. I miss the goofy times we had. She was so loved here and we know she loved us and I guess that's what makes it even harder. She wasn't just another somebody. She was amazing. I will miss her everyday of the rest of my life. I know shes in heaven now, but it does NOT make it easy to deal with at all. I really wish this would get better, but somhow I dont see it getting better any time soon! Love you Cheryl and Miss you more than anything.